Posts
I have a hard time waking up in the morning. While I would classify myself as a morning person, I would also classify myself as sleep deprived and always looking for those few extra minutes.
Last night, when I was going to bed at 1am, I felt this huge desire for reading God's word and spending time with him and a sadness that I hadn't been able to read my Bible that day. I prayed a simple prayer, "Lord help me to wake up and spend time with you in the morning". I then went to bed with my alarm set for 7:15. When my alarm went off this morning I was less than enthusiastic and I hit the snooze. But once my alarm went off again I remembered my prayer and I got out of bed with an attitude that it was time to Worship God! I praise him so much for this answered prayer, that he would help me wake up and above all remind me of my last thought and desire of before I went to bed just as I am waking up so that I can follow through this morning. God is so good.
9 ”So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:9-10)
When we are seeking after God the desires of our heart will be that of his, and when we ask for those things, we will receive them. This is a simple example of how I can claim the promise in this verse today!
releasing the future
It may be odd to think about releasing the future since no one can predict it. However, I believe many of us if not all of us try to control it and direct our steps today so that we will arrive where we want to be in the future. I am very much guilty of doing this in my life, trying to make sure I don't get off the path I've created for my life.
Well God is revealing to me that this is, simply put, sin. I don't want sin in my life, but giving up control of my life to him is not easy, and I really don't know how to do it. I believe I will continue to give up pieces of control to Him for the rest of my life.
As far as my future is concerned, I am anxious about it. All of the uncertainties and unknowns that will follow this constant known as college. Upon graduation where do I go, what do I do, who do I hang out with? All of these thoughts run through my head.
Well I feel very strongly that God has called me to ministry in the local church and that my path is heading to that destination. However, that's about as much control as I have given God. I still want to control where I go, who I work for, what ministry I get to do, and who I can impact.
Wow, that sounds super selfish and stuck up when I see it written down.
But I don't feel selfish. If you ask me about my future I will tell you (and have been telling others) that it's completely in God's hands and that he will place me in the right church. However I have always in my mind been truly saying, "God will put me in the perfect church for me and I won't have to deal with problems because that ministry and my personality will be a perfect match." Now that is selfish.
This weekend I went back home to Victorville and talked with my family and pastors from my home church. I was very encouraged to talk about my passions, future, ministry desires and church's in general. This may not seem like a big deal but what happened in my heart this weekend was a big deal.
I released my home church to God as a place I would be willing to work in the future. Since feeling God's call to ministry I have always had the unspoken (and possibly spoken at times) understanding that I would never move back home and do ministry in the church I grew up in. What I really was saying was, I don't trust you God and I think that the best church for me is not this church.
By releasing this church to the Lord I feel like I am closer to being able to say, "Lord send me" and truly mean I am willing to go wherever. I don't know if that will happen soon, where I am able to release my whole future to Him, but I am praying and working toward that end.
And to clarify for anyone close to me that may be reading into this, I am not saying I want to work at the church I grew up at. I am just ecstatic that my heart is now much closer to being ok with working where God wants me to work.
I am now saying "Lord, please place me in the perfect ministry for your kingdom, not for my personal comfort." Please pray for me that this will be true in both my heart and in my future and that I continue to release my future to Him since he already knows it!
Well God is revealing to me that this is, simply put, sin. I don't want sin in my life, but giving up control of my life to him is not easy, and I really don't know how to do it. I believe I will continue to give up pieces of control to Him for the rest of my life.
As far as my future is concerned, I am anxious about it. All of the uncertainties and unknowns that will follow this constant known as college. Upon graduation where do I go, what do I do, who do I hang out with? All of these thoughts run through my head.
Well I feel very strongly that God has called me to ministry in the local church and that my path is heading to that destination. However, that's about as much control as I have given God. I still want to control where I go, who I work for, what ministry I get to do, and who I can impact.
Wow, that sounds super selfish and stuck up when I see it written down.
But I don't feel selfish. If you ask me about my future I will tell you (and have been telling others) that it's completely in God's hands and that he will place me in the right church. However I have always in my mind been truly saying, "God will put me in the perfect church for me and I won't have to deal with problems because that ministry and my personality will be a perfect match." Now that is selfish.
This weekend I went back home to Victorville and talked with my family and pastors from my home church. I was very encouraged to talk about my passions, future, ministry desires and church's in general. This may not seem like a big deal but what happened in my heart this weekend was a big deal.
I released my home church to God as a place I would be willing to work in the future. Since feeling God's call to ministry I have always had the unspoken (and possibly spoken at times) understanding that I would never move back home and do ministry in the church I grew up in. What I really was saying was, I don't trust you God and I think that the best church for me is not this church.
By releasing this church to the Lord I feel like I am closer to being able to say, "Lord send me" and truly mean I am willing to go wherever. I don't know if that will happen soon, where I am able to release my whole future to Him, but I am praying and working toward that end.
And to clarify for anyone close to me that may be reading into this, I am not saying I want to work at the church I grew up at. I am just ecstatic that my heart is now much closer to being ok with working where God wants me to work.
I am now saying "Lord, please place me in the perfect ministry for your kingdom, not for my personal comfort." Please pray for me that this will be true in both my heart and in my future and that I continue to release my future to Him since he already knows it!
i have a feeling...
...that God is going to use me in ways that I can't imagine right now. In class today we were talking about biblical leadership and at the end of class the professor asked if we were willing to step up and be this kind of leader, a servant who sacrificed for others. He then asked us to try envisioning where we would be five years from now in ministry.
First off, I want to be a servant leader! That is a goal of mine and something I want to strive for.
Secondly, I was thinking about my future in ministry and all I saw myself doing was being involved in life change. The next thought I had about my future in ministry was that of missions work.
Could mission work be for me? I have a feeling that it could be. Being able to be relational, teach, think outside of the box, work with families and having to be entirely dependent on Christ...what could be better than that?!?!
It's something to think about..."gonna be a good night"!
First off, I want to be a servant leader! That is a goal of mine and something I want to strive for.
Secondly, I was thinking about my future in ministry and all I saw myself doing was being involved in life change. The next thought I had about my future in ministry was that of missions work.
Could mission work be for me? I have a feeling that it could be. Being able to be relational, teach, think outside of the box, work with families and having to be entirely dependent on Christ...what could be better than that?!?!
It's something to think about..."gonna be a good night"!
a little this and that...
Wow, I just had an amazing conversation tonight with a good friend. I am a very relational person and really get fueled up by conversations such as this, and through this have thought about things with a slightly different lens.
One such thing is girls. We talked about relationships and girls in each others lives (or lack there of/prospects) and what we valued. I walked away with the idea that waiting is good and that this girl has got to be pretty phenomenal! We also talked about love and how the day you say "I do" is when your relationship is set in stone and that the commitment of love, not the feeling of love is the foundation.
Is life really all that complicated? I would say yes, there is so much to think about and process through and decisions to make. All of this then needs to be filtered through a number of different lens' both biblical and culturally (or at least it would seem) before a final decision can be made. However what if we lived in black and white? What if you approached life with a very small consistent playbook? You always approached life with the utmost integrity, love for people, humility, wisdom and dependence on God especially through prayer? It seems like this would take a lot of the complications out of life.
One other thing that this guy said was great. He said (which he got from somewhere else), "live life as if you could lose your salvation while knowing that you are secure in Christ". Now I don't know if this completely encompasses the Christian life, in fact I know it doesn't, but it sure gives me perspective on a godly fear. I all to often think and approach God as a mentor, friend, coach or guide. I don't approach him as my GOD. I don't have a commitment to my God that would overshadow anything else that could ever happen in life to me. I think this is so because I don't necessarily see him as my God. I want to, and it is my prayer, reoriente my view of God as I AM.
Well I need to write a paper for class, but this is healthy for me to journal and process and be transparent (with whomever may read this...) and I love it. I wish I blogged/journaled more often but time doesn't necessarily allow for it. I'll leave with this prayer:
God, make me see you as God. In some way this week knock me to my knees and make me realize just how just, powerful, loving and everything else you are. Father help me to be a man who lives humbly and loves deeply and cares for those that need to be cared for. I want to grow, help me to do so. Amen.
One such thing is girls. We talked about relationships and girls in each others lives (or lack there of/prospects) and what we valued. I walked away with the idea that waiting is good and that this girl has got to be pretty phenomenal! We also talked about love and how the day you say "I do" is when your relationship is set in stone and that the commitment of love, not the feeling of love is the foundation.
Is life really all that complicated? I would say yes, there is so much to think about and process through and decisions to make. All of this then needs to be filtered through a number of different lens' both biblical and culturally (or at least it would seem) before a final decision can be made. However what if we lived in black and white? What if you approached life with a very small consistent playbook? You always approached life with the utmost integrity, love for people, humility, wisdom and dependence on God especially through prayer? It seems like this would take a lot of the complications out of life.
One other thing that this guy said was great. He said (which he got from somewhere else), "live life as if you could lose your salvation while knowing that you are secure in Christ". Now I don't know if this completely encompasses the Christian life, in fact I know it doesn't, but it sure gives me perspective on a godly fear. I all to often think and approach God as a mentor, friend, coach or guide. I don't approach him as my GOD. I don't have a commitment to my God that would overshadow anything else that could ever happen in life to me. I think this is so because I don't necessarily see him as my God. I want to, and it is my prayer, reoriente my view of God as I AM.
Well I need to write a paper for class, but this is healthy for me to journal and process and be transparent (with whomever may read this...) and I love it. I wish I blogged/journaled more often but time doesn't necessarily allow for it. I'll leave with this prayer:
God, make me see you as God. In some way this week knock me to my knees and make me realize just how just, powerful, loving and everything else you are. Father help me to be a man who lives humbly and loves deeply and cares for those that need to be cared for. I want to grow, help me to do so. Amen.
an update on life
I officially started my Senior Year (and last year) of college at Biola University 2 weeks ago. So far it has have been going great and I am loving everything about it…besides all the work that is. Both semesters of mine are going to be super busy since I will be taking extra full course loads to graduate on time and working 20 hours a week at my church. It’ going to be awesome!
As far as my internship goes I just hit my 1 year mark working at Friends Church in Yorba Linda, CA. For those of you that don’t know I work in the Children’s Department there with kids from 0 years old up through 6th grade. It’s been quite an exciting year and I truly believe that the Lord is using this church to prepare me for ministry. In the last year I have been to Summer Camp, Winter Camp, worked on VBS, helped lead a mid-week program for 5th and 6th graders, worked on the weekends leading small groups, teaching large group, and learning the ropes as well as many more amazing opportunities to grow in my leadership and programming abilities. It’s been quite challenging, but a huge year of growth for me!
Something that’s been very exciting for me this year is getting an apartment with 3 other guys. It’s pretty awesome and I’m really enjoying the whole process of the place. I mean I really don’t mind the cleaning and chores and cooking and stuff. It’s quite fun actually! Having a place that I can call mine is super nice after I’ve moved 7 other times since starting college.
What I’m excited for this year: Graduation! That’s a big one since it’s the end of my basic education! I can see freedom (or at least it looks that way to me) at the end of this road and I can’t wait to not have classes! I’m also looking forward to developing some great friendships with Biola people and Church people this year! I’m a people person and love to connect with others and what God is doing in their life.
How God is working in my life: God is really working on my heart right now. I have a lot of head knowledge and a lot of times know the right thing to do. However I don’t always feel it or want what is right and best. I believe God is really working on my heart to line up what I know to be true with how I will feel in those situations. I’m really excited to see how my heart and mind can someday work as a cohesive team to help me make the wise choices in life!
If you want to get a hold of me to ask more questions or check in to see how I’m doing you can do that these ways:
E-Mail: kyle.a.zimmerman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kylezimmerman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/kyle_zimmerman
As far as my internship goes I just hit my 1 year mark working at Friends Church in Yorba Linda, CA. For those of you that don’t know I work in the Children’s Department there with kids from 0 years old up through 6th grade. It’s been quite an exciting year and I truly believe that the Lord is using this church to prepare me for ministry. In the last year I have been to Summer Camp, Winter Camp, worked on VBS, helped lead a mid-week program for 5th and 6th graders, worked on the weekends leading small groups, teaching large group, and learning the ropes as well as many more amazing opportunities to grow in my leadership and programming abilities. It’s been quite challenging, but a huge year of growth for me!
Something that’s been very exciting for me this year is getting an apartment with 3 other guys. It’s pretty awesome and I’m really enjoying the whole process of the place. I mean I really don’t mind the cleaning and chores and cooking and stuff. It’s quite fun actually! Having a place that I can call mine is super nice after I’ve moved 7 other times since starting college.
What I’m excited for this year: Graduation! That’s a big one since it’s the end of my basic education! I can see freedom (or at least it looks that way to me) at the end of this road and I can’t wait to not have classes! I’m also looking forward to developing some great friendships with Biola people and Church people this year! I’m a people person and love to connect with others and what God is doing in their life.
How God is working in my life: God is really working on my heart right now. I have a lot of head knowledge and a lot of times know the right thing to do. However I don’t always feel it or want what is right and best. I believe God is really working on my heart to line up what I know to be true with how I will feel in those situations. I’m really excited to see how my heart and mind can someday work as a cohesive team to help me make the wise choices in life!
If you want to get a hold of me to ask more questions or check in to see how I’m doing you can do that these ways:
E-Mail: kyle.a.zimmerman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kylezimmerman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/kyle_zimmerman
the fourth
I can't get over how awesome of a weekend I just had! Seriously, it was a gift from God to be able to get away from the business of life and rest with friends for the 4th of July. I had a couple thoughts and wanted to share them with hopefully someone:
I went up to Ojai (near Ventura, CA and not short for Ohio) for the weekend with friends from school. First off, it was huge to get out of Yorba Linda and breathe a bit. I had been feeling trapped in a routine and so getting away=very good. Second, I chose not to take my watch up with me and left my phone off for a good chunk of the weekend. It was so nice to feel detached from reality.
I don't really think the weekend was so awesome because of what we did (which was lots of fun) but because of spending quality time with close friends. These are (some of) the people who I've grown to respect and love over the last three years of school. It was fun to talk with them, see how far we have come, dream of the future and even get to know each other better.
I found God in some unique ways through this time:
1) Rest is key. I was able to experience and hear God better when I wasn't stressed and busy.
2) The future is His. I can't know or plan for my future, but I can let him control my life and it will be great!
3) I'm a relational being, just like my heavenly father. I must pour into relationship with God just like I need to pour into my relationships with friends. I felt rejuvenated by spending time with friends, how much more by spending quality time with my creator?!
There's so much more, but I'm not the best communicator so I'll leave it at that and continue to smile on the inside at the rest.
I went up to Ojai (near Ventura, CA and not short for Ohio) for the weekend with friends from school. First off, it was huge to get out of Yorba Linda and breathe a bit. I had been feeling trapped in a routine and so getting away=very good. Second, I chose not to take my watch up with me and left my phone off for a good chunk of the weekend. It was so nice to feel detached from reality.
I don't really think the weekend was so awesome because of what we did (which was lots of fun) but because of spending quality time with close friends. These are (some of) the people who I've grown to respect and love over the last three years of school. It was fun to talk with them, see how far we have come, dream of the future and even get to know each other better.
I found God in some unique ways through this time:
1) Rest is key. I was able to experience and hear God better when I wasn't stressed and busy.
2) The future is His. I can't know or plan for my future, but I can let him control my life and it will be great!
3) I'm a relational being, just like my heavenly father. I must pour into relationship with God just like I need to pour into my relationships with friends. I felt rejuvenated by spending time with friends, how much more by spending quality time with my creator?!
There's so much more, but I'm not the best communicator so I'll leave it at that and continue to smile on the inside at the rest.
rest
Not something I tend to like to do. I’m the guy that pushes and pushes and pushes…and then crashes. I have a constant need to be doing something, working towards a goal, accomplishing something, and this need gets in the way of rest. I was thinking about this last night and I wondered why this is. Why do I neglect sleep, self-maintenance, and my personal needs in order to keep on doing and accomplishing?
I think part of the reason is because I don’t ever think what I do is good enough, and maybe if I do more it will be. I have a constant list of goals in my mind at all times; goals for me personally and goals for my work and education. Don’t ask me what they are because I can’t actually tell you, they are just there…in the subconscious.
But I can only sustain a fast paced, no rest life for so long. In my life I have noticed a pattern…a pattern of great hi’s and not so great low’s. A low always follows directly after a hi. I wonder (comment if you have thoughts) if I was to do a little less and not push quite as hard, would I be able to sustain longer and more consistently a life of hard work and devotion to my heavenly father? It seems reasonable to me to think yes, now the hard part for me is to try and not push so hard.
My first step in not pushing so hard began yesterday. After 8 hours of work and a school meeting I decided to just stop everything. Rather than hanging out with friends, working more, or thinking about my future I went to the driving range and watched a movie by myself at home. So nice! And I’m ready to work and pour into it today. Let’s see if it works out.
I think part of the reason is because I don’t ever think what I do is good enough, and maybe if I do more it will be. I have a constant list of goals in my mind at all times; goals for me personally and goals for my work and education. Don’t ask me what they are because I can’t actually tell you, they are just there…in the subconscious.
But I can only sustain a fast paced, no rest life for so long. In my life I have noticed a pattern…a pattern of great hi’s and not so great low’s. A low always follows directly after a hi. I wonder (comment if you have thoughts) if I was to do a little less and not push quite as hard, would I be able to sustain longer and more consistently a life of hard work and devotion to my heavenly father? It seems reasonable to me to think yes, now the hard part for me is to try and not push so hard.
My first step in not pushing so hard began yesterday. After 8 hours of work and a school meeting I decided to just stop everything. Rather than hanging out with friends, working more, or thinking about my future I went to the driving range and watched a movie by myself at home. So nice! And I’m ready to work and pour into it today. Let’s see if it works out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)