rest

Not something I tend to like to do. I’m the guy that pushes and pushes and pushes…and then crashes. I have a constant need to be doing something, working towards a goal, accomplishing something, and this need gets in the way of rest. I was thinking about this last night and I wondered why this is. Why do I neglect sleep, self-maintenance, and my personal needs in order to keep on doing and accomplishing?

I think part of the reason is because I don’t ever think what I do is good enough, and maybe if I do more it will be. I have a constant list of goals in my mind at all times; goals for me personally and goals for my work and education. Don’t ask me what they are because I can’t actually tell you, they are just there…in the subconscious.

But I can only sustain a fast paced, no rest life for so long. In my life I have noticed a pattern…a pattern of great hi’s and not so great low’s. A low always follows directly after a hi. I wonder (comment if you have thoughts) if I was to do a little less and not push quite as hard, would I be able to sustain longer and more consistently a life of hard work and devotion to my heavenly father? It seems reasonable to me to think yes, now the hard part for me is to try and not push so hard.

My first step in not pushing so hard began yesterday. After 8 hours of work and a school meeting I decided to just stop everything. Rather than hanging out with friends, working more, or thinking about my future I went to the driving range and watched a movie by myself at home. So nice! And I’m ready to work and pour into it today. Let’s see if it works out.