Posts
I can't get over how awesome of a weekend I just had! Seriously, it was a gift from God to be able to get away from the business of life and rest with friends for the 4th of July. I had a couple thoughts and wanted to share them with hopefully someone:
I went up to Ojai (near Ventura, CA and not short for Ohio) for the weekend with friends from school. First off, it was huge to get out of Yorba Linda and breathe a bit. I had been feeling trapped in a routine and so getting away=very good. Second, I chose not to take my watch up with me and left my phone off for a good chunk of the weekend. It was so nice to feel detached from reality.
I don't really think the weekend was so awesome because of what we did (which was lots of fun) but because of spending quality time with close friends. These are (some of) the people who I've grown to respect and love over the last three years of school. It was fun to talk with them, see how far we have come, dream of the future and even get to know each other better.
I found God in some unique ways through this time:
1) Rest is key. I was able to experience and hear God better when I wasn't stressed and busy.
2) The future is His. I can't know or plan for my future, but I can let him control my life and it will be great!
3) I'm a relational being, just like my heavenly father. I must pour into relationship with God just like I need to pour into my relationships with friends. I felt rejuvenated by spending time with friends, how much more by spending quality time with my creator?!
There's so much more, but I'm not the best communicator so I'll leave it at that and continue to smile on the inside at the rest.
rest
Not something I tend to like to do. I’m the guy that pushes and pushes and pushes…and then crashes. I have a constant need to be doing something, working towards a goal, accomplishing something, and this need gets in the way of rest. I was thinking about this last night and I wondered why this is. Why do I neglect sleep, self-maintenance, and my personal needs in order to keep on doing and accomplishing?
I think part of the reason is because I don’t ever think what I do is good enough, and maybe if I do more it will be. I have a constant list of goals in my mind at all times; goals for me personally and goals for my work and education. Don’t ask me what they are because I can’t actually tell you, they are just there…in the subconscious.
But I can only sustain a fast paced, no rest life for so long. In my life I have noticed a pattern…a pattern of great hi’s and not so great low’s. A low always follows directly after a hi. I wonder (comment if you have thoughts) if I was to do a little less and not push quite as hard, would I be able to sustain longer and more consistently a life of hard work and devotion to my heavenly father? It seems reasonable to me to think yes, now the hard part for me is to try and not push so hard.
My first step in not pushing so hard began yesterday. After 8 hours of work and a school meeting I decided to just stop everything. Rather than hanging out with friends, working more, or thinking about my future I went to the driving range and watched a movie by myself at home. So nice! And I’m ready to work and pour into it today. Let’s see if it works out.
I think part of the reason is because I don’t ever think what I do is good enough, and maybe if I do more it will be. I have a constant list of goals in my mind at all times; goals for me personally and goals for my work and education. Don’t ask me what they are because I can’t actually tell you, they are just there…in the subconscious.
But I can only sustain a fast paced, no rest life for so long. In my life I have noticed a pattern…a pattern of great hi’s and not so great low’s. A low always follows directly after a hi. I wonder (comment if you have thoughts) if I was to do a little less and not push quite as hard, would I be able to sustain longer and more consistently a life of hard work and devotion to my heavenly father? It seems reasonable to me to think yes, now the hard part for me is to try and not push so hard.
My first step in not pushing so hard began yesterday. After 8 hours of work and a school meeting I decided to just stop everything. Rather than hanging out with friends, working more, or thinking about my future I went to the driving range and watched a movie by myself at home. So nice! And I’m ready to work and pour into it today. Let’s see if it works out.
who do i want to be...
I am currently sitting in Starbucks reading the book of Hosea. I have read through this book before, and it is one of my favorites. It’s all about how Israel is unfaithful to God...how I am unfaithful to God. Whenever I read this book I begin to reflect on who I am, what I want to be, and how I want to get there.
WHO AM I? I am a Christ Follower, or at least I try to be. I fail way to often but am beginning to let God’s grace live through me. I am the whore that is mentioned in Hosea 1:2, as I walk away from God far to often, but put on the show of love and affection when others are looking. I absolutely hate that about myself, how I can love God so much one minute and deliberately do something I know he doesn’t love the next minute. I am continually working on how I can be a better Christ Follower, how I can authentically live out the love I know I have for God.
WHO I WANT TO BE: I want to be the same person on the inside (how I see myself) and on the outside (how others see me). This is my deepest desire, to not be a hypocrite. I also want to be someone who knows the Word of God. I want to know the heart of my creator and be able to accurately share that person with the world at any moment in time. I want to be an authentic Christ follower. I also want to be an awesome husband and father someday. I have a huge passion for family and family ministry, and I want to first live that out in my own family whenever that comes around in my life. I want to be a spiritual leader in my home, in the church, and in my oikos (relational world).
HOW I WANT TO GET THERE: Well I don’t really know. I’m 21...but I know the path starts now / already has started. A passion of mine for a long time now has been to do a master’s degree with a strong biblical emphasis. I have been looking at that for a while. That passion somewhat dies down when I’m in the middle of a semester and thoroughly engulfed in the overwhelming amounts of work I have. But it is an underlying passion, because although I have no need to go to school to learn the Bible, I feel like I will learn in much better through an institution/program. As for now I want to commit to being in a personal Bible study all of the time. Whether that is through a curriculum or just me exploring and studying and reading for myself I don’t know yet, but I need to be in the word constantly.
So as I sit here, only on Hosea 2 because I got distracted with these thoughts, my eyes turn back to Gomer. I don’t want to be a Gomer, I want to be a Hosea. Gomer betrays the unconditional love of Hosea time and time again. It breaks Hosea’s heart. I want my heart to break like God’s does, I want to be faithful to what God is calling me to, and I want to one day hear the Lord say “well done” when I see him in Glory.
WHO AM I? I am a Christ Follower, or at least I try to be. I fail way to often but am beginning to let God’s grace live through me. I am the whore that is mentioned in Hosea 1:2, as I walk away from God far to often, but put on the show of love and affection when others are looking. I absolutely hate that about myself, how I can love God so much one minute and deliberately do something I know he doesn’t love the next minute. I am continually working on how I can be a better Christ Follower, how I can authentically live out the love I know I have for God.
WHO I WANT TO BE: I want to be the same person on the inside (how I see myself) and on the outside (how others see me). This is my deepest desire, to not be a hypocrite. I also want to be someone who knows the Word of God. I want to know the heart of my creator and be able to accurately share that person with the world at any moment in time. I want to be an authentic Christ follower. I also want to be an awesome husband and father someday. I have a huge passion for family and family ministry, and I want to first live that out in my own family whenever that comes around in my life. I want to be a spiritual leader in my home, in the church, and in my oikos (relational world).
HOW I WANT TO GET THERE: Well I don’t really know. I’m 21...but I know the path starts now / already has started. A passion of mine for a long time now has been to do a master’s degree with a strong biblical emphasis. I have been looking at that for a while. That passion somewhat dies down when I’m in the middle of a semester and thoroughly engulfed in the overwhelming amounts of work I have. But it is an underlying passion, because although I have no need to go to school to learn the Bible, I feel like I will learn in much better through an institution/program. As for now I want to commit to being in a personal Bible study all of the time. Whether that is through a curriculum or just me exploring and studying and reading for myself I don’t know yet, but I need to be in the word constantly.
So as I sit here, only on Hosea 2 because I got distracted with these thoughts, my eyes turn back to Gomer. I don’t want to be a Gomer, I want to be a Hosea. Gomer betrays the unconditional love of Hosea time and time again. It breaks Hosea’s heart. I want my heart to break like God’s does, I want to be faithful to what God is calling me to, and I want to one day hear the Lord say “well done” when I see him in Glory.
sitting on a plane...
It’s Spring Break for me this week and I’m taking it off! It’s time for a little vacation with the family, to reconnect and rejuvenate. It’s been a long semester and it will be great to have a week without school and work. Although I wish I were back home hanging out with friends all week, it will be great to see family. Which is why I’m on a plane…flying to Oregon to visit my Grandpa and Dad’s family. It’s gonna be awesome!
However as I sit here on the plane I’m trying to think of what to do. I brought some movies…I’m sitting with my mom (who’s doing a Bible Study) and I’m just not sure. I’m so used to always being connected to people, but on a plane I can’t use the internet or my phone. I’m not sure what to do. Am I really that dependent on technology to talk with people? I look out my window and think about something and want to share it with someone who’s not with me…maybe even twitpic it☺. I don’t know, it’s a disease I guess, but I love being connected with the world.
I think I am going to take some time to read because I don’t do that very often and I really should. It will be good. By the way, I’m just writing this on a word document and will post it at some other time when I get internet access in Oregon…which I’m not sure how easily that will be either.
However as I sit here on the plane I’m trying to think of what to do. I brought some movies…I’m sitting with my mom (who’s doing a Bible Study) and I’m just not sure. I’m so used to always being connected to people, but on a plane I can’t use the internet or my phone. I’m not sure what to do. Am I really that dependent on technology to talk with people? I look out my window and think about something and want to share it with someone who’s not with me…maybe even twitpic it☺. I don’t know, it’s a disease I guess, but I love being connected with the world.
I think I am going to take some time to read because I don’t do that very often and I really should. It will be good. By the way, I’m just writing this on a word document and will post it at some other time when I get internet access in Oregon…which I’m not sure how easily that will be either.
integration
One of the course requirements at Biola University is to take an Integration Seminar class as an upper division Bible Elective. As a Christian Education Major I decided to go with the class topic of Christian Ministry. The class is well done, a lot of stuff goes over my head, but there are some gold nuggets that I pull out every once in a while.
Today was a good day in the class and I took away some great stuff. One of those things was how do people come to be a Christian? What makes someone want to choose being a Christian over living the "good life" in the world? How do I, as a Christian leader in the church present the Christian life with all of it's ups and downs as better than living in the world?
It came down to two things that really struck me between the eyes.
1) For a long time, the church has tried to present the Christian life as something far better, and in a way easier, than living in the world. We came to the realization that this isn't true. Being a Christian is hard, probably the hardest thing any of us could ever do. But it comes down to instant versus delayed gratification.
Living in the world allows for instant gratification through sex, drugs, alcohol, and other things that allow for a momentary high but not a lasting one. Many people live high to high because that is "the good life".
However, for a Christian it is all about delayed gratification. Matthew 10:39 says, "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." This means that as a Christian we must deny self and take on the attributes and lifestyle of Christ. In this way we will find deeper and more meaningful life. It is a hard thing to do because it means denying the instant gratification of the world in order to have greater fulfillment both on this earth and in eternity.
So to apply this to kids, students and adults it is important to capitalize on their desire to learn based on their life stage and create a desire for delayed gratification. If a deep desire for this can be attained, churched kids would not fall away from the faith because of the denial of self that is so prevalent in their lives.
2) The other conclusion from class is that soul work is the responsibility of the Holy Spirit. It is not for me to carry a burden to keep kids out of this or that, but for me to pray for their souls and the burdens that people face each day. Through prayer and faith the Lord's will is done and people are changed for eternity.
There is much work for me to do, I can not think it's all the Holy Spirit's job because it is his job to work in people's hearts through what we do in ministry. But with prayer the responsibility is lessened and our faith and love for the Lord is strengthened.
I hope this isn't too jumbled to understand...I'm still working through it myself. I just have a strong desire to see pain and suffering be a result to living for the Lord and not for the world.
Today was a good day in the class and I took away some great stuff. One of those things was how do people come to be a Christian? What makes someone want to choose being a Christian over living the "good life" in the world? How do I, as a Christian leader in the church present the Christian life with all of it's ups and downs as better than living in the world?
It came down to two things that really struck me between the eyes.
1) For a long time, the church has tried to present the Christian life as something far better, and in a way easier, than living in the world. We came to the realization that this isn't true. Being a Christian is hard, probably the hardest thing any of us could ever do. But it comes down to instant versus delayed gratification.
Living in the world allows for instant gratification through sex, drugs, alcohol, and other things that allow for a momentary high but not a lasting one. Many people live high to high because that is "the good life".
However, for a Christian it is all about delayed gratification. Matthew 10:39 says, "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." This means that as a Christian we must deny self and take on the attributes and lifestyle of Christ. In this way we will find deeper and more meaningful life. It is a hard thing to do because it means denying the instant gratification of the world in order to have greater fulfillment both on this earth and in eternity.
So to apply this to kids, students and adults it is important to capitalize on their desire to learn based on their life stage and create a desire for delayed gratification. If a deep desire for this can be attained, churched kids would not fall away from the faith because of the denial of self that is so prevalent in their lives.
2) The other conclusion from class is that soul work is the responsibility of the Holy Spirit. It is not for me to carry a burden to keep kids out of this or that, but for me to pray for their souls and the burdens that people face each day. Through prayer and faith the Lord's will is done and people are changed for eternity.
There is much work for me to do, I can not think it's all the Holy Spirit's job because it is his job to work in people's hearts through what we do in ministry. But with prayer the responsibility is lessened and our faith and love for the Lord is strengthened.
I hope this isn't too jumbled to understand...I'm still working through it myself. I just have a strong desire to see pain and suffering be a result to living for the Lord and not for the world.
life is good
So I haven't posted in about a week, so I thought I would update (to the zero reader base that I have...) that life is good! In the last week I was able to finish a research paper on time, get through classes and excel at them I believe, and to attend Biola's annual Mission Conference.
Missions Conference, MC, is completely student run and is all about mission work in the world. It was a very exciting time on campus and I'm sure many people made commitments to missions. For me however, I heard more than anything the call to release our lives to God and live missionaly. This means to me, to allow God to call me anywhere and believe and trust in him of the plan he has for my life.
So I'm doing that. God is taking me in new places, and new adventures are beginning. I can't wait to see where God takes me over the next weeks, months, years, and for the rest of my life. I'm on borrowed time, so I'm going to live for the lender: My King!
Missions Conference, MC, is completely student run and is all about mission work in the world. It was a very exciting time on campus and I'm sure many people made commitments to missions. For me however, I heard more than anything the call to release our lives to God and live missionaly. This means to me, to allow God to call me anywhere and believe and trust in him of the plan he has for my life.
So I'm doing that. God is taking me in new places, and new adventures are beginning. I can't wait to see where God takes me over the next weeks, months, years, and for the rest of my life. I'm on borrowed time, so I'm going to live for the lender: My King!
i can only imagine...
Every time I think of death I come to this song by Mercy Me. It all started my junior year of high school when my band director passed away very suddenly to cancer. At his funeral this song was played and since then I use it to reflect on life and death and heaven.
Why am I listening to it now? Well I just found out that a former professor, mentor, and friend of mine has brain cancer. Why? Why God would you allow him to get sick, especially like this? There is no hope to be seen except in a miracle. Please Lord, give him a miracle.
Why is there so much pain and suffering in the world? Why does God allow for people to suffer and die, especially people who have lived their whole life in service to you and desire nothing more than to raise up the next generation of Christian leaders.
And how could this be your plan, your will? I know it is, I don't doubt, but why? That's my real question...why would you let this happen? Why would you will it to happen? Why can't I see what you see, the bigger picture? Father God, I don't understand...
Isaiah 45:9 says: “Woe to him who strives with him who formed him, a pot among earthen pots! Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles’?"
God I'm not questioning you because I know in my heart that you are in control. I do not doubt, but it still hurts. And on a surface level does not make sense at all. Please Lord, help me to see your will. Maybe it's for me, for me to be processing and thinking through this...but I sure hope not because no man's life is worth that lesson.
Father, I pray for a miracle. I ask you to save his life, to cure him from the cancer and do your work through his sickness and not through his death. Please father, spare his life and allow him to continue serving you. I love you and trust in you God. I trust in you. Amen.
Why am I listening to it now? Well I just found out that a former professor, mentor, and friend of mine has brain cancer. Why? Why God would you allow him to get sick, especially like this? There is no hope to be seen except in a miracle. Please Lord, give him a miracle.
Why is there so much pain and suffering in the world? Why does God allow for people to suffer and die, especially people who have lived their whole life in service to you and desire nothing more than to raise up the next generation of Christian leaders.
And how could this be your plan, your will? I know it is, I don't doubt, but why? That's my real question...why would you let this happen? Why would you will it to happen? Why can't I see what you see, the bigger picture? Father God, I don't understand...
Isaiah 45:9 says: “Woe to him who strives with him who formed him, a pot among earthen pots! Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles’?"
God I'm not questioning you because I know in my heart that you are in control. I do not doubt, but it still hurts. And on a surface level does not make sense at all. Please Lord, help me to see your will. Maybe it's for me, for me to be processing and thinking through this...but I sure hope not because no man's life is worth that lesson.
Father, I pray for a miracle. I ask you to save his life, to cure him from the cancer and do your work through his sickness and not through his death. Please father, spare his life and allow him to continue serving you. I love you and trust in you God. I trust in you. Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)