i can only imagine...

Every time I think of death I come to this song by Mercy Me. It all started my junior year of high school when my band director passed away very suddenly to cancer. At his funeral this song was played and since then I use it to reflect on life and death and heaven.

Why am I listening to it now? Well I just found out that a former professor, mentor, and friend of mine has brain cancer. Why? Why God would you allow him to get sick, especially like this? There is no hope to be seen except in a miracle. Please Lord, give him a miracle.

Why is there so much pain and suffering in the world? Why does God allow for people to suffer and die, especially people who have lived their whole life in service to you and desire nothing more than to raise up the next generation of Christian leaders.

And how could this be your plan, your will? I know it is, I don't doubt, but why? That's my real question...why would you let this happen? Why would you will it to happen? Why can't I see what you see, the bigger picture? Father God, I don't understand...

Isaiah 45:9 says: “Woe to him who strives with him who formed him, a pot among earthen pots! Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles’?"

God I'm not questioning you because I know in my heart that you are in control. I do not doubt, but it still hurts. And on a surface level does not make sense at all. Please Lord, help me to see your will. Maybe it's for me, for me to be processing and thinking through this...but I sure hope not because no man's life is worth that lesson.

Father, I pray for a miracle. I ask you to save his life, to cure him from the cancer and do your work through his sickness and not through his death. Please father, spare his life and allow him to continue serving you. I love you and trust in you God. I trust in you. Amen.